Rumination
by Songarri0125
Summary: How far would you go to save the lives of those you hold dear? Even if the cost included your life and soul, would you still make that choice, uncertain of the repercussion that the choice brings to your self and others. These questions and more shall be viewed as Spike Drake journeys to the other side after making his final choice. MLPFIM belongs to Hasbro; pic belongs to Frist44
1. Chapter 1

I have never been close to death until now, but I am no longer afraid. I suppose it is only when confronted with the experience does the victim begin to

grasp the understanding of death. I'm fairly confident that Twilight would say something regarding this situation, but for the life of me, which is slowly exiting

my body, I can't think of what it would be. Hay, if she saw me in this condition, Twilight would be scolding me mercilessly for acting so foolhardy, or wailing

like a newborn filly for my untimely demise. She, the girls, the princesses, and perhaps everypony I have grown accustomed to would more than likely freak

out when ponies get news of my death. Would they understand as to why this had to be? Would they have the heart to forgive me for going along on this

dangerous odyssey, or would they curse me for my unnecessary sacrifice? More importantly, was there some truth in the late tyrant's words regarding the

departure of this purple dragon? That this would be the sorry tale of Spike, the former number one assistant to Twilight Sparkles? Sitting here on the now

crimson-stained crystal wall awaiting my departure, has given me time to gather my thoughts and reflect on the events that lead me here. One side of my

mind regrets having gone through all this suffering, whilst the other side is proud and happy to have been of service to my friends despite the knowledge that

it would not end well for me; honestly, I'm at a loss.

This all started with that bell. One average afternoon, I heard a bell ringing from a distance. It was strange because this particular ring was not like the

one associated with the clock tower, and there was no report of any ceremonies going on within Ponyville. This resonance sounded tranquil, pleasing to the

heart and soul, and quite divine. I asked Twilight if she heard it but she dismissed it as my brain playing tricks on me. I attempted to empty my mind of the

muse-like tone, but it proved to me more difficult than I originally thought. With each passing day, I would hear that same enticing ring pass through my fins

and put me in a trance of some sort. These moments would not happen periodically, but at random. Finally, Twi, my beloved guardian, sent me off to

Canterlot so that Princess Luna could assist me with my daydreaming problem; if not, I would be forced to go through basic training on how to eat with my

mouth closed, again. Upon my arrival, the two Princesses greeted me with open forearms; Celestia, my surrogate mother during my early years, and Luna,

the later whom I constantly bested at board games. When the moment came for Luna to inspect my thoughts she was happy to assist. It did not take long,

but the aftermath was what worried me as the night alicorn's expression was saddened and unsure. I questioned her as to what she saw, but she said that

she could not sense anything wrong with me, but warned me to be on guard should I hear the bells once more before warning me in advance:

"_Do not mention this to Twilight or anypony else, understand?"_

I nodded in obedience and left. When I reunited with Twi, I told her that the sound was a side-effect from eating too many gems.

It had been almost a year since I had last heard those ringing bells. The few times I had heard them were in my dreams; that was only three times. I

decided to ignore them and focus on my work as the new librarian or "Guardian of the Scrolls" as I called myself. At first, Twilight was against the idea of me

living by myself because she thought I was too young or that I couldn't handle the pressure; however, after a long discussion, thanks to Rarity, Applejack,

Pinkie Pie, (and Celestia) my OCD friend, relented because they reminded her that this would benefit me and help me be more responsible when I'm older.

Granted, I had my ups and downs while working alone, and sometimes I would have to contact the others for help, but I soon adapted to my new found

independence. Then came the month that would lead to the event I was now in: my birthday. I was ecstatic because it was a sign that I was coming of age

and becoming a true Draco, not some young drake. Truth be told, I always felt as old as Twilight and the others were, but due to my short height (my

forehead passed their nose), my unformed wings and childish behavior, I was still a "not-so baby dragon" through their eyes. That didn't get me down,

because it would a day worth remembering for it would also be the anniversary that our friendship was formed. Each one of the mares would have a present

for me, and I would have my own for them. I could already imagine their expression as they would each receive a gift, courtesy of me; and if I was lucky,

Rarity would give me a kiss and I could finally confess my feelings to her. At that moment, I believed that nothing bad could transpire on my birthday – I was

dead wrong.

A letter written by Princess Cadence was delivered to us, requiring the _seven_ of us (finally, somepony included me) to meet with her and Armor, regarding

an important discussion. I hoped that this was something simple but after all our previous adventures, my instincts told me that this would be anything but

simple or good. Our trip up north was nonchalant as all our previous trips to a location: the girls would be talking, Twilight would either be writing down

potential strategies, in case a nasty event transpired, or jumping up and down in anticipation of seeing her brother, sister-in-law, and nephew, Prince Del Lak

Lancia "Lance". Everypony within the empire, especially the girls loved the whelp, but the foal took an extreme liking to me for some odd reason (despite my

draconic appearance); on the bright side, Cadence asked if I was interested in being their son's uncle, if not, a godfather, which I happily accepted. I should

have been excited about the meeting but I wasn't because something did not feel right. I couldn't explain it, but I felt as though an ominous force was

approaching and it would be unlike any other previous encounter. My thoughts were short-lived by none other than Pinkie Pie, who was not being her bubbly,

unorthodox self, but bore a concern and serious expression – that was not a good sign. She questioned my mood and I told her I was fine, but continued to

pressure me until I gave in and told her as to what I was feeling; how she guessed as to whether or not it had any connections with the bell incident (which I

never told anypony else about) was a shock, but I told her it did not. When I finished my confession, she assured me that everything would turn out okay in

the end, which calmed my nerves a tad. However, it did not last long because she immediately told me that before everything was good, there would be _"a _

_whole lot of pain and hurt before all was said and done"_ and that I should _"follow my heart, regardless of how icky the situation may seem"_. I theorized that

Pinkie had predicted something and was giving me the heads up before continuing with her discussion on the importance of rock candy and how it would

benefit the crystal ponies. I, however, remained silent and watched the landscape pass, contemplating on her words. Our meet and greet with the rulers was

short as the pair immediately directed us to the castle and into the basement where scrolls and dangerous artifacts were sealed away from the population.

Inside the confined wall was a familiar red horn trapped behind an encased cylinder that oozed with fear, hate, and violence – it was none other than King

Sombra's horn. Cadence immediately explained to us that a scouting party found the horn three years ago and brought it to them. Celestia and Luna, who

were informed prior to its discovery, told the pair to keep the item sealed off and to prepare should it act up. They explained to us as to how the horn would

glow black, grow in power, and that snarls and growls could be heard within the crystal walls at night. Overall, Sombra was returning via his horn.

Attempts to destroy the horn proved to be fruitless for no amount of force, magic, seals, communication or a _"Be Nice and We'll give you Candy"_ party

(Pinkie's plan) would sway the horn from growing in power; not even the Crystal Heart could neutralize the horn's strength and neither Cadence nor. Finally,

a plan was set in which Twilight and the others would use their rainbow powers to dispel the horn of its magic. The date was made, location selected, and

everypony was prepared except me — the useless onlooker. In a desolate location in the frozen wasteland, the ritual was underway as the mares performed

their duty. Things appeared to be going swimmingly as the horn was beginning to shrivel up and lose its mana, until a predictable problem came underway

[honestly, how the hay am I mentally/talking like this]. Immediately, the horn began whisking out negative energy at random while the mares were unable

to move because of the ritual's effect. Acting quickly, I made my way toward Cadence and, despite her protest, took her away from the catastrophe while

Armor attempted to save the others. With the princess at a safe distance, she retreated back to the castle in search of additional help and I went back to help

the others. Upon my arrival, I was petrified as I saw a dark silhouette float above the girls: its eyes were a mixture of green and crimson with purple mists

empting from the side of its face, the pupils were slit and fangs could be seen underneath its deformed muzzle. Sombra, albeit a shadowy figure, hovered

above us with a hubris expression. The mares gawked in horror and Armor glared daggers at the late tyrant as he fired rounds of energy toward the shadow,

which harmlessly passed through him. Something told me that Sombra could kill us all if he wanted to, but instead, he did not. As a maniacal laugh left the

phantom's mouth, a blinding flash of light erupted from the place where the horn was absorbing the energy of the rainbow magic. Slowly, my vision returned

to me and to my fear, I was greeted by a nightmarish reality. Shining Armor laid on the snow, unconscious but not entirely injured, while the girls were in

worse shape; their bodies were littered with black stones that discharged red sparks, their limbs twitched aberrantly with their eyes rolled behind their heads,

and their breathing was shallow and growing weaker by the second. To make the matter worse, I had no idea what to do.

I felt defeated. Once again, I was unable to do anything as my friends put themselves in harm's way to save the lives of others. This time, they were the

ones suffering and I was unable to assist them. The comforting voices of guards and allies alike would not heal this newfound scar – it merely made it worse.

I no longer had the courage to face anypony else and my depression would continue to grow the following week until I got word that the girls' condition was

worsening. It turned out that Sombra had used an unidentifiable ability that none of the doctors or crystals ponies were aware of and the chances of any of

them surviving were unlikely. It was too much for me; as soon as I heard the news I ran away, not caring where I ended up. I wanted to be left alone, away

from all this pain, guilt, and unfairness that life threw at me and simply cry. My friends were dying, Sombra was returning, and I had no way of saving them.

Once I calmed down a bit, I began to see these visions involving Sombra, the girls, me, and other ponies, grieving at the loss of some unidentified creature.

It was weird at first, but after much thinking, I began to speculate that the explosion somehow infected me like it the girls but instead, it left me with visions.

_Probably some taunt set up by Sombra._ I thought with disdain. Nonetheless, the vision was convenient for me because those visions helped me locate where

Sombra was: somewhere deep in the frozen wasteland was an underground catacomb that housed the bones of those who died while under the dead king's

reign; the bones were frozen over after so many years and it was reported that it was a place where Sombra would perform alchemic ceremonies on his

subjects in a bid for power. Celestia told us about these atrocities, but I was disturbed as to why Sombra was letting me know of his current location.

Previous exploits told me that this is a trap and that the girls' current condition was a means to draw his target in. I wanted to tell somepony about this and

thought that maybe a platoon could be sent to this location, or perhaps I could inform the princesses of this situation since they usually know what to do. All

of these plans I wanted to act on but I couldn't. Some force was holding me back, instructing me to do this on my own – stating that is was my responsibility

to perform this task and no one else's. Was it guilt, recognition, or some divine interpretation that was forcing me to do this? I had no idea, but I did know

one thing: I was going to save my friends. With renewed resolve and determination burning within my heart, I made my plans and took off toward Canterlot.

I knew there was a chance that I wouldn't survive this pilgrimage, so I needed to make sure that certain things were taken care of. A week after the

incident, I created six additional gifts for the girls that would go along with the presents I had in store for them; if I was going to die it would be best that

they understood my _true_ feelings for them. Next, I contacted Discord, the fully reformed Draconequus, former Spirit of Chaos, and fellow friend, and asked

him to collect every book that dealt with taboo magic within the regal sister's old and current castle and teleport them within Twilight's castle. It was difficult

convincing him to assist me because he was still grieving for Fluttershy's near demise, but Fate was on my side as he indifferently did as instructed. After

completing the objective, Discord questioned me as to why I needed all these books, considering that some of them were dangerous, if not forbidden, and

should not be dealt with unless I intended to use them for a pranking purpose. I stated that they were for an experiment that Twi and I were about to

perform, which was not _entirely_ a lie. Once the books were gathered in the center of the council table, I asked Discord to take a seat in my chair so that he

could help me inspect these books. He almost objected to my hospitality, saying that it was getting late and he needed to help Angel keep the other creatures

occupied, and that he would prefer sitting in Twilight's seat instead of mine. I was fearful that Discord would eventually catch wind of my deceit and respond,

(which he almost did) but I proved to be a few steps ahead of him as the tea that he sipped was spiced with an odorless substance and the petrification

emblem I carved underneath all the seats would neutralize Discord's power and render him unconscious. After dragging his body into the guest room, setting

him beside an unconscious Owlicious [yes, I did] and sealing the door off, should sompony come looking for him, I went off to perform my experiment: book

burning. I knew it was immoral and Twi would be against this but it was a way to ensure that the girls didn't do anything stupid afterwards. The third step

would be to locate the parents/relatives of the mane six and commute with them. Nothing special, just some questions regarding the girl's previous life

before our adventures: what they were like, what were the best parts of their lives, and of their contribution. Some of them were skeptical at first, but they

each relented and told me tales of the girls and of their accomplishments. I was touched at some of the stories that they told me regarding their daughters,

which only compelled me to act faster. Once my research was complete, I went to the library and began comparing notes on how much I've done for the girls

and how much they've done for me and others. It didn't take long to decide who won that contest. I soon got word that the girls' condition was worsening

and that they would probably pass in less than a week. After making out my will and confession via scrolls, I placed the six presents on the table, each one

designated to the girls, and departed toward my final journey.

Having arrived back in the Frozen North, I began searching for any signs of Sombra. During the process, visions involving Sombra and girls suffering

would plague my thoughts, and to make matters worse, the bell I had heard all those years ago was back. The difference was that it sounded louder and

stronger than ever, almost alluring. I ignored them both and continued my foolish search until I saw a desolate cave. Using this as an opportunity to rest, I

entered the abandoned home, made a fire [the fact I'm cold-blooded was not a factor in any way] and warmed myself up before taking a small nap. In my

dreams, I saw visions of Sombra, except they were of his younger years before his first banishment. The scenes revealed a young unicorn that was naïve but

determined to prove himself to those around him because he was hardly recognized by his peers or the adults. He wanted to be cherished by others and

worked tirelessly to be the best unicorn he could be. Sombra did everything he could for his peers but they did not appreciate his skills, and viewed him as a

nuisance to be taken advantage of. It did not matter to the crystal ponies how hard he tried or how much knowledge he gained, the young Sombra could not

catch a break and be respected for his efforts. From the perspective of that generation of crystal ponies, he was nothing but a face within a crowd – one that

can be easily forgotten. That was when his heart fell toward darkness and he began plotting vengeance on those he felt had wronged him; if he couldn't win

them over with kindness and love, he would use fear and pain. When I awoke, drenched in cold sweat, I slowly began to understand Sombra a little bit.

Despite all his evil, I could somewhat relate with him: we both long to be recognized and appreciated for our good deeds by our friends and others. Truth be

told, there were times I felt as though the girls thought I was excess baggage or that I was easy to manipulate for their own benefit. Secretly, a part of my

heart may have resented them for not placing any trust in me and seeing me as a baby. Additionally, I would sometimes wonder what they truly thought of

me – what was I to them actually? If that be the case why would I go to incredible lengths to save them? Was I doing this for recognition? Attention? Was it

for the glory that I did something noble and I would be praised for it? That couldn't be the case, could it? Would a good pony-drake-go through this much

trouble just to win the hearts of others?

_ No._

Only a selfish, corrupt, vile, big-meanie would do something so cruel. A fraud that probably had no care for his own life that he would use an event as

serious as this to throw it away. At that moment, I no longer felt like an adult, but a child who had not learned a thing about friendship or love. I was still the

avaricious, cowardly, useless whelp who couldn't do anything without the help of his friends, and when push came to shove, I had to be honest with myself: I

wanted to live. Without a second thought, I pulled out a parchment and wrote to Celestia. The guards would find me, I would tell them where Sombra was,

and they would go out to face the danger while the dragon would stand by and watch. I would live a lonely and shameful life, while those brave souls forsake

their lives to destroy an evil that had already slain six known heroes. How many more stallions would die before the beast was satisfied? All those noble souls

– sacrificed so that the majority could live, including the reptile, whose sacrifice could end up saving them as well as his friends? Yeah, that's fair [sarcasm,

by the way]. I had finished writing the letter and was about to ship it off when my claws suddenly stopped. I stared at the small note, unable to take my eyes

off it. After what felt like a minute, a thought came to mind.

_ I can't do it._

As childish as it was, I couldn't bring myself to lite the scrap of paper because memories of all my friends flashed before me:

_ Picking apples with Applejack._

_ Having tea with Fluttershy._

_ Baking cakes with Pinkie Pie._

_ Helping Rainbow Dash train for a big race._

_ Assisting Rarity with her dresses for a client._

_ Acting as a lab assistant for Twilight._

Memories of them and of the ponies I've grown accustomed to cause me to let go of some tears I've been holding back. Immediately, I realized that I was

nearly caught in a trick set up by Sombra. He wanted me to give up and turn my back on my friends because the same thing had happened to him. His

attempt was to make me feel that their lives were not worth saving because they were imperfect and made choices that should justify me into betraying

them. Even if that weren't the case, he wanted to show me that what I was doing was no better than his previous attempts at making friends, which was

somewhat true. I didn't want to see my loved ones, the ponies that made my life something worth living, die — I was guilt-ridden because I felt that it was

not fair that I, a being who had done less, should live while his friends, who had done much, should fall to darkness. Also, I wanted to prove to everypony,

and myself, that I was capable of doing something as big as they did during the encounter with Tirek. I was (am still) an avaricious, childish, imperfect whelp

– I accepted that. And yet, I just couldn't stand by and let my friends leave. The smart thing would have been to contact the princesses and tell them of my

visions, but I still felt that this was something I had to do, and I didn't want to feel guilty for causing additional casualties if one would be enough. Having

made the final decision, one that would surely have a positive/negative reaction afterwards, I looked at my crudely-made ticket and ripped it to pieces. I was

confident that the chances of me surviving this trek was slim, that my friends would curse me for going along on this asinine journey, that I would end up in

the Inferno Planes for my previous sins and what I was about to do, but if this was the only way to save my friends and prevent the injuries of other noble

guards, then I would do so. With that, I departed to my final trial, [the bell I heard so many years ago lingering inside my head], to write my wrong and "go

to Tartarus", if I had to.

Locating the meeting spot where Sombra was stationed proved to be easier than expected, as if he was expecting me. Unlike our previous encounter, he

was now in his physical body, albeit, his fur was pale in color, and he looked old and frail; however, his venomous glare and spine tingling chuckle informed

me that he was just as dangerous when he was defeated a second time. Behind him was a floating orb that radiated with power, which I instinctively knew

belonged to my friends. When questioned as to what his attempts were, the revived king informed me that his horn was a contingency, should he ever fall in

battle. After his body was destroyed, he transferred a portion of his awareness into his horn and feasted on the magic resonating throughout the empire and

its subjects, slowly regaining his strength until his revival. It was not until the mares tried to use their rainbow magic that Sombra was able to absorb enough

energy to return. At that moment, I realized the king's plan: he had cast a spell on the girls before vanishing in order to drain them of their magic and life

force in order to reach his potential and take revenge on the empire that had betrayed him. What struck fear into my heart was when he revealed his other

intent to me – one I did not see coming. He was not just gathering the element's power, but he was planning to transfer said energy and his conscious into

me. Shocked as I was, he explained that he sensed great potential in me and saw me as a decent candidate to be used as a puppet for his revenge.

_ "What better way to satisfy my wrath than by using their "hero" against them," he proclaimed._

It happened so fast, that I barely had time to counter one of Sombra's attacks as it showed that he could still perform spells, despite being hornless. It

was clear that Sombra wanted to torture me a bit before achieving his ambition because every strike he dished out left gashes on my scales that bled

profusely. It was apparent that he had some pint-up aggression toward the crystal ponies and those who humiliated him, and was planning on beating me

half to death before using me as his sacrificial lamb. I retorted with dodge-rolls and fireballs, but the revived king was better skilled than me and took his

time to make me suffer as the life-force of my friends filled his orb. It was smart of me to bring some items I thought would assist me in the fight and I

succeeded in causing some harm to the mad stallion, but my counter-attacks still had little effect and made him all the more livid. Eventually, I found myself

on my back, body littered with cuts and the cold floor stained crimson. My lungs begged for air but the tyrant's hoof crashed onto my sternum. Our eyes met

and I could see a triumphant sneer form on his muzzle as a good portion of his horn (what was left of it) hovered beside him in a veil of black magic. To

make matters worse, he realized the emblem mark I placed on it, which I planned on using in order to seal him inside once I got close. The tyrant flicked the

broken spec away and proceeded to cutting off my oxygen supply so I would lose consciousness. Out of desperation, I was left with no choice but to use plan

B: Placing my right claw on his hoof and my left claw over my heart, I activated the sealing technique I etched onto my claws before coming here [as an

insurance policy, should the horn plan fail]. The conversion went swimmingly as the dark king's consciousness transferred into my own body, but the pain it

brought was agonizing as his memories, power, and emotions were fused to my soul as well. I lost conscious for a moment, and feared that Sombra had

gained control of my flesh – luckily, it did not happen. The power I felt and knowledge that came with it was indescribable for it made me feel invincible.

However, this pleasure was short-lived as Sombra's voice echoed within my head, reminding me that it would not be long before I lost control of my body.

Rushing toward the orb, I realized that my friends were knocking at death's door as the container radiated brighter with their power and strength. Hacking

into Sombra's memory, it showed me that Sombra had placed a hex on the sphere, just in case some creature tried to unlock it. To make matters more dire,

it could not be broken unless a life was sacrificed (kind of cliché, but it explains why he wanted me in the first place). My now dark purple claws reached for

the rainbow ball until Sombra's roar rung inside my head, warning me not to deactivate the seal because both he and I would fade away into the dark plane

forever. I stood there, facing the item that would cause our death and thought of Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rainbow, and Twilight. Without a

second thought, I latched onto the giant orb. No words could define the pain that plagued me as the curse coursed through my body, destroying every

molecule at a slow and arduous rate. Despite the agony, I felt something else flick through my body – it was hard to describe it, but the feeling I felt was

warm and harmonic. I realized that it was my friend's energy being released from the container and departing back to their body. Afterwards, an explosion

occurred, and my body was sent colliding toward the wall.

So here I am – a pitiful wretch awaiting death's arrival. My body was now charcoal color, coated with open wounds and gash marks; my right arm is limp

and drenched in blood, followed by my left eye, which I could no longer open; I'm fairly confident that the majority of my bones and organs are damaged,

preventing me from moving. Sombra's voice continues to bash against my psyche. Not only is he enraged at having been bested by the drake that assisted in

his defeat, but now there was no chance of him surviving because of the fusion. He curses my existence and threatens to make my life in the Inferno Plane

miserable, saying that I would regret ever crossing him in the first place. For the most of it, I ignore his jabbering remarks – the deed was done and there is

no changing it. His plans have failed, my friends are saved, and the empire is safe from his malice intent. Even now, his voice is beginning to falter and die,

indicating his departure, but his hatred remains as strong as ever. As his voice dwindles, I listen as he questions my actions. I respond with another question:

_ Would you not lay down your life for a friend?_

The comment must have left him bewildered because I no longer heard his voice. Before the spirit departed completely, he left behind a spiteful retort:

_ You fool. If you truly believe that this little act will make your friends hold any feelings for you, then you are an incompetent fool. Who could ever care for_

_ trash, such as you?_

And then he was no more.

I should have ignored the comment, but the way he said it…it got me a little. It's not that I felt sympathetic for the unicorn (not anymore), but the way he

stated his question made me feel foolish for what I had recently done. I was on the verge of death and the girls, who probably didn't know where I was, must

live with the knowledge that their friend went through physical/psychological pain in order to save them, which would rub salt onto an already injured wound.

Also, if the tyrant's word rang true, then I would end up in the same destination he would. Another reason why his comment stung me was because there

was a dash of truth to what he said. I did not want to acknowledge his statement but there existed some doubt as for the reason behind my actions. Was it

for respect? Did I desire a heroic death so that I would obtain a legend equal to my friends? Or was I a mere servant who was bound by the words of his

superiors? My friends possessed so much while I had so little: status, relatives – everything a blessed pony could ask for. All I had that truly mattered to me

than all the gems in the world was – is – the bond we shared and now I must part from that. Was I just plain foolish? Was this all for naught? Just then, my

workable eye caught sight of one of the items I took with me on this expedition. To most, it was a plain bronze watch locket, but I knew better: it was a gift

that Twilight was going to give to me for my birthday. Out of all the presents I opened early, I chose hers. Perhaps it was a confidence booster of some sort.

However, it was not the watch itself that made it special but what was inside it. Relying on willpower, I forced my tail to make contact with the watch and

force it open. It was painful, but victory was mine as the lock came undone. On the left side of it was the clock with the protected layer cracked but the

clockworks still functioned, and on the right was my keepsake. A picture of the girls and I posing in front of a camera, with Fluttershy displaying a bashful

expression while Pinkie made a silly face directed toward the machine. Rainbow and AJ were having a friendly argument over some ludicrous discussion and I

stood in the center of the image with Rarity giving me a kiss on the forehead and Twilight embracing me in a platonic hug. Seeing the image brought a tear

to my good eye and erased any lingering distrust I once held. My actions were somewhat selfish, but I tried to do something good. I died, not a hero or

fraud, but a Draco who cared about his loved ones so much that he was willing to put his life on the line, should the event demand it. If the others were in

the same position I was in, they would have done the same thing. This may be the end of me, but I was no longer afraid; if I am to face judgement for my

action, I will accept it with open arms. At least, this way, the girls can continue to live and enjoy the silver linings of life – just without me. It was one heck of

a ride because I've done and experienced so much in this world that I couldn't feel bitter, even if I tried; I kind of wish that it would have lasted a little

longer, but I have no contempt; it was a life worth living for, a life worth dying for, and I couldn't have asked for anything better. It was a marvelous

existence, and I thank the unseen Maker for giving me one.

With my mind cleared and my destiny accepted I stared up at the crystals that hung over me. It was strange, but despite what Sombra said, seeing

those crystalline stalactites glimmer told me that my departure would not be menacing. I stared at my watch once more and listen to the rhythmic pattern as

my mind began forming images of the ponies I cherished and would be waiting for in the Garden.

Shining Armor and I sitting by a lake as he tries to cheer me up: _My dad – our dad – told me that a cutie mark is not just a representation of a ponies' _

_ability but a calling of some sort. If they are able to use that characteristic in service to their home and to help those they love, then that pony should have_

_ faith in their ability and put in the time and effort into making their skill useful. Even if some creatures can't obtain a mark, they should find a talent they are_

_ good at and be the best at what they are. In your case, Spike, your talent is helping our sister whenever she's down and needs support because no one else_

_ can do a better job than you. Do you understand?_

60 seconds…

Pinkie Pie and I setting up a birthday party for the Cake twins: _Spike, you're the bestest, bestest, of friends I could ever ask for! You like parties, seeing _

_ponies smile, and just know when to have a good time! We should do this more often because you're always there to turn a grumpy frown upside down! I _

_know I already said this but you're my super dooper, quadruple, best partylicious friend!_

50 seconds…

Rainbow Dash giving me a noogie after I save her from a bad fall: _Are you kidding?! You used your own body as a cushion so I wouldn't get hurt; that's _

_not stupid, that's being loyally awesome. Next time you need help, I'll be the one to save your scales. While I'm at it, I'll even show you how to be a 20% _

_cool drake._

40 seconds…

Applejack giving me words of wisdom when I tell her that some ponies gawk at me suspiciously: _Ponies git scared of things they 'ave no understandin' of._

_ Ah was the same way wit Zecora n Discord. When them folks look at you, Spike, they see ah creature that'll go 'bout an destroy their homes n rob their fancy_

_ keepsakes due to some greed problem. I don't see that, sugarcube. I see a dependable dragon that puts his friends first over 'emself. Never mind what them_

_ scallywags think o' you. Only you can do that yourself. An' that's the truth and nothing but the truth._

30 seconds…

Fluttershy patching up my injuries after an accident occurred while helping her with some chores: _I like helping poor, injured creatures. That is my skill,_

_ and I take pride in what I do, Spike. I don't care if you grow up looking like a big, scary dragon. It no longer bothers me. You are my friend and I will always _

_be there to patch you up whenever you're hurt or sick – of course, if you want me to, __that is._

20 seconds…

Twilight telling me how important I am to her: _Spike, I love you. You're my number one assistant, my LBBFF, my son, and my partner. During our times_

_ together, I would never have guessed that you would grow up to be this wonderful young drake. No matter how bad things looked, you would always find a_

_ way to turn it around and make it better. You might not know this but I want you to know you have a place with me Cadence, Shining Armor, and my_

_ parents. We will always love you, no matter what happens._

10 seconds…

Finally, Rarity demonstrating her affection for me:_ What's makes you so special, Spikey-Wikey? Everything, and I couldn't have been happier to have met_

_ or known a wonderful, gentle-drake like you *smooch*._

A weak smile forms on my muzzle as I reminisce of the time I've spent with my friends. Despite our ups and downs, it was all good, and I was happy to

be a part of it. It was nice. Staring at the ceiling once more, I shut my eyes as the memories of my friends came to mind. 5 seconds…

_ Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Twilight…_

3 seconds…

_ Thank you._

1 second…

Darkness now envelopes my sight and my breath decelerate. Funny, my mind is starting to play tricks on me because I'm almost certain I hear

somepony's voice from a distant. Shining Armor perhaps? Maybe it's Luna or Discord – I don't know. I do know one thing, however; I hear a sound that is

peaceful and joyful – that celestial bell I heard all those years ago, except it's easier to hear. The melody playing from that remarkable chime is temperate

and emanates an innocent echo, untouched by corruption or sin. Instantly, I knew where I was going…

…I was heading home.


	2. Chapter 2

I could no longer hear the bell's tranquil resonance, and I grew frightful. Did this mean I now reside in the same void as Sombra? Was it all an illusion constructed by my psyche, or? These hypotheses formed in my mind until I heard someponie's voice, urging me to get up. Opening my eyes, I saw a quantity of stars, radiating with power, enveloping the dark sky. Flowers as white as snow stretch across a field, each one possessing a luminous aura that enveloped the ground and the breeze possess a unique scent that made my mouth salivate in hunger. Perplexing, as I did not realize I was standing, a feat I should not have been able to do anymore; it appeared my previous injuries were gone, including my arm and other eye. In addition, my entire being felt _weird;_ strange, as it was my body felt stronger, lighter, more synced with my senses, and…complete? What in the world was happening to me?

"This is really weird," I said to myself.

Utterly amazed as to what had transpired I didn't notice the presence of another creature standing behind me. Upon realization, I leapt into the air before falling on my rump. When the pain died down, along with my pride, I looked upon the stranger and went numb from shock.

Standing before me was a female alicorn with ivory fur, carmine mane, and light blue-green eyes. I could feel raw magic emanate from her form, which instinctively told me her power, wisdom, and strength far outclassed any of the princesses or my friends in Ponyville or Canterlot. In an instant, I knew the identity of this alicorn based on the nighttime stories Celestia would read to me when I was an infant:

"Rosetta, the Fourth," I whispered in awe, fear, and intrigue.

She responded with a gentle nod and a wave of amazement engulfed my heart (I think I can use that metaphor). As stated from the olden tales, Rosetta was one of the four Seraphim chosen by Moirai, the unseen maker that is one-in-three, to act as a general and a defender of creation and the balance of magic. What makes Rosetta honorable in her own right was when she became Moirai's champion after defeating a former Seraphim-turned-traitor who attempted to usurp the maker and take control of the three planes. In short, she was a creature not to mess with.

Rosetta must have felt my weariness because a beckoning smile formed on her muzzle, which melted away any uncertainty I originally felt (otherwise, I would have fallen on my face). In a graceful manner, Rosetta beckons me to follow her, silently assuring me that I will receive answers. Normally, I would remember Twilight's advice about talking to strangers, but under this circumstance, I was willing to make an acceptance. Our trek across this plane was quaint as I assaulted her with questions, both important and stupid; it was fortunate for me that she was benevolent and patient enough to answer them. She told me that we were going to greet some _acquaintances_ of hers whom were dying (metaphorically, speaking) to talk with me. I asked her who they were, but she said that it would spoil the fun. Second, when I brought up the fate of Sombra, she bitterly informed me that the late tyrant is in Hades, the realm where wicked souls travel to upon reaching their end. Rosetta went on to say that those banished to the accursed realm would face insufferable torment for the sins they committed while amongst the living. Though it shouldn't have come as a shock for me, I couldn't help but pity the tyrant, despite the fact that it was he who got me killed. Perhaps, it was the memory fragments clinging to my conscious regarding his previous life that made me feel sympathetic. Another reason I felt off was that I did not know if I was to suffer the same fate as the deceased unicorn due to my late choice. Rosetta sensed my unease and comforted me for showing remorse to an adversary, but reminded me the blame rested upon him and there is no hope for a soul bound to sinful chains. I decided to drop the question and move on to another, like where was I? The plane around me was nothing compared to the place Twilight went to during her ascension. Rosetta informs me that Asphodel is a plane that houses different levels of existence.

"Unlike the Ascension level," Rosetta explained. "Where creatures of different backgrounds go to be rewarded for completing a heroic task, this level of Ascension – Limbo – is where souls come to be judged, and depending on the situation, are relocated to one of the two worlds."

She goes on to say that the shade of deceased individuals appear here after dying but it is possible for one's subconscious to come following a near-death experience; on rare occasions a creature's physical form can come to this plane of existence. Anyhow, Rosetta informed me my fate was being discussed and that we were heading toward my sentence – or, more accurately, a potential sentence. I stopped in my tracks and stared at the virtuous figure because she told me I was going somewhere where there was an off chance I'd be banished to Hades. Granted, I saved the girls from death but there were two factors that might be held against me: my choice to go on a suicide mission, and the threat Sombra told me before releasing the mare's souls.

"Insufferable torment…" I whisper in an emotionless tone, as if the idea stole away my ability to feel.

What was strange about the situation was that I wasn't terrified in anyway; granted, I was nervous but I knew running away would do me no good. I understood the danger before partaking on this journey and was willing to accept the repercussion to my decision. No amount of begging or bribing was going to change anything, and my connections to the girls would not matter much to the Creator of all life. I had to see this through – regardless of the aftermath. With a solemn nod, the march toward my destination proceeded, albeit, it was silent from hereon.

After what felt like an eternity, the two of us came to a stop in the middle of nowhere. When questioned, Rosetta told me her friends would arrive in a few minutes and we were to meet them here. Once again, I asked her who they were but she remained silent.

"Be patient," she said, an impish smile forming around her muzzle.

Defeated, I resigned to her decision and sat amongst the flowers. Before long, I was growing impatient and was longing for something to happen and would've gone crazy when suddenly,[classical skid] two burning orbs – one blue, the other pink – combusted from the ground. I watched from Rosetta's protective grip as the will-o-wisps increased in size until their forms rivaled tall buildings. The lightshow slowly died and from the smoke there appeared two fearsome dragons. One was a wingless male with zaffre scales, his underbelly and fins were sunset orange, mardi gras spikes and duke blue irises. The female dragon, however, had coral pink scales, a champagne pink underbelly, her claws, eyes, and spikes were lime green. Like her mate, she too, was without wings. Having recovered from my shock, it didn't take me long to guess theses were the friends Rosetta was talking about. What caught me off guard, however, was not the fact that they were dragons [huge ones, may I remind you] but for some reason they seemed familiar to me. I couldn't explain the feeling, but I felt drawn to them – as though we shared a connection of some sort. I realized that the pair was looking at me with speechless gawks, as though they had seen a ghost. Sure, enough, I was doing the same thing – not by choice but by instinct. Getting a closer look at the pair, I took notice that something was off about the dragoness because her attention was on me, and the way she looked at me made my heart cringe; her eyes expressed unbelievable pain and longing – as though something of important value was now standing before her. The tears that fell from the dragoness' eyes escalated as she took hold of her mate and bawled in delight, who in turn, tightly embraced his love, eyes becoming misty as well. It was a remarkable sight because I have never seen a dragon demonstrate such sadness sense the time Fluttershy talked down a dragon all those years ago. The alicorn and I stared at the twosome: Rosetta was smiling at the joyful spectacle, while I was crying. I don't know why but seeing those dragons made my heart escalate, as though it would explode any minute.

_I don't understand!_ I thought._ Why am I feeling so happy and sad at the same time?_

The tearful moment between the two dragons died down a peg, albeit, the female was trying to remain in control of her emotional burst. The male dragon turned in my direction and presented me a warm smile – one that a father would give his child.

"Izumrudnyy Plameni…" he spoke in a gruff but smooth voice.

I repeated the name mentally as though it was my mantra. The title was extrinsic but it felt native, as though I heard it before. What made the situation more complex was that I understood the meaning behind the namesake and its purpose:

"_Emerald Flame,"_ I say in a trance-like voice.

The name, itself, was not just foreign but a surname to identify a dragon's heritage, family, and ability – their identity and existence tied into their names. The way the dragon said that name was for those with personal ties to the individual (i.e. close bond or blood relation). In addition to how they both stared at me, coupled with how their appearances were slightly akin to mine, left me with an epiphany. Staring at the male whose gaze met with mine, I take one step forward, claws extended and tears leaking from my eyes. I say one word to him; I somehow knew what it meant and hoped that the giant would respond in a positive way:

"Otets…" I stammer, terrified he would reject my question. Instead, the older dragon smiled at me and held out his titan claw for me to hop on. I lung toward his index finger and embrace it, tears cascading down my eyes as I stood in front of two individuals I never thought I would ever get the chance to meet, who were more precious to me than any hoard a drake could have. Finally, I was with my otets and mama – my mother and father.

I had no idea how long the three of us stayed in this embrace, and I didn't care. This moment between child and parent is good and we both knew it to be true. I was familiar with such forms of love, courtesy of Twilight, her mother, and Celestia but this felt more intimate – probably because I was receiving this show of affection from those who sired me. Though I yearned for this moment to last, I knew it couldn't. Catching their attention, I opened my mouth to voice my thoughts.

"Why?"

It was a sudden change in mood as the pair gazed at me with hurtful but understanding looks. The question, itself, was a collimation of all the questions I have kept hidden within my heart:

Why was I placed in the school as an egg?

Why didn't Celestia tell me of their existence?

Why did ponies and not dragons raise me?

These and more resonated from a single word, and both I and my parents knew it to be true; the look in their eyes told me how ashamed they felt for not being there for me, though I harbored no animosity toward them given the circumstance. I soon realized their attention is not at me but at Rosetta as well. Though they did not say anything, it seemed as if a mental argument was taking place, and judging by my mom's muscle tense, the debate involved me. After another silent minute, my father placed his claw on mom, who grudgingly relented to the Arch. Their attention turned to me and I knew something big was about to be said. My father placed down beside Rosetta who then placed her hoof on my shoulders, our eyes locked on to one another.

"Izumrudnyy Plameni 'Spike'," she spoke in a serene voice. "Before and after your hatching, you have been kept a close eye on by our agents, analyzing your choices and current path. You have learned much during your travels with your friends and have overcome much in order to gain a better understanding of your identity. There were moments in which you doubted your worth and felt unnecessary, and yet, you overcame those obstacles and grew in body, mind, and spirit. Though not a representation of the Elements of Harmony, you show traits associated with them; you find value in virtue and responsibility and have proven your worth in small doses.

Without warning, an orb of light formed around Rosetta's horn before striking me on the noggin. I was expecting the hit to be painful but it felt soft and foamy – as though being slapped in the face with a sponge. From there, an ivory-colored sphere formed around all four of us and from it were images of my times spent with the girls and any other creatures I've met in my life:

_Pinkie and I hosting the "Running of the Leaves" in Ponyville._

_Applejack and I picking apples after she saved me from the timberwolves._

_Zeccora and I taking care of Fluttershy and her pets._

_Assisting Rainbowdash as she and the other pegasi train to gather rain clouds._

_Helping Rarity win the heart of Tenderhoof._

_Twilight and I retrieving the Crystal Heart._

Additional memories appeared before me and with every picture shown; I felt a strong force stir within my heart. Was it pride, or delight? I turn to my parents and see a proud smile form on my father's reptilian mouth, while a smirk slowly found its way on my mother (probably due the impression that I was being portrayed as a valet to my pony-friends). Regardless of my upbringing, they were both proud of my commitment and knowing that their son was brought up by individuals who taught me to love and make the right decision in life.

"Thinking about the safety of your friends," Rosetta went on. "You journeyed into unknown danger and confronted your demon in the form of the fallen king. He threatened you with eternal punishment, but you made the choice to forsake your life for your loved ones. Such display of friendship demonstrates an aspect worthy of a hero, if not, a Passion Bearer. Because of your deed, you shall be rewarded."

When I inquired as to what she meant, her answer left me speechless: I could return to the mortal world.

I couldn't believe it. I had recently died, resurrected in the spirit world, and now I'm being told by one of the four Arches that I had an opportunity to go home. I was so shocked that I didn't hear the part about how my parents had agreed to let me go back because they felt it was too early for me to leave my friends behind. When I calmed down _and Rosetta explained the situation to me__again_, I could only stare at my parents, then Rosetta, then my parents. Liquid pride escaped my eyes and fell onto the flowers upon hearing my parent's request. Even though it had only been minutes, I was thankful to have met them. Rosetta went on to explain that my body was nearly healed after my encounters with Sombra (which I was confused but thankful as to how) and, if I wanted to, she could send me back and I would be reunited with everyone I said goodbye to. It was a tough decision because, while I wanted to be reunited with my friends, I didn't want to be separated from my parents. However, they both assured me that it was best I return because they needed me more so than I originally thought. They told me that in the mortal world, which has been three weeks since my death [time/space are different between worlds], I have been mourned by many ponies, ranging from those in Canterlot to the Crystal Empire. Though declared a hero for my actions, those close to me were deeply saddened about my passing, especially the girls. Once they informed me as to what each of them did while I was gone filled me with guilt because I had unintentionally harmed them. I then knew what my choice was – though it would mean having to say goodbye to my parents, I had to make up for what I had done to my friends.

I was going back.

This was likely the most painful decision I have ever made, next to the previous one that got me killed. I didn't want to do this, but I felt that I hade to. Rosetta gave me an understanding nod before walking away to prepare a spell to resurrect me. This gave my parents and I time to say farewell. My mom picked me up and gave me a hug, careful not to crush me. She sat me down and tried to give me some pointers on how to woo my crush without being a doormat, much to my embarrassment. Next, my father told me in a somber expression of what I would be facing in the coming future. He said more obstacles would be coming my way and they were going to be hard. He wished things could have been different for me and that I wouldn't have to bear such a burden, but he assured me I could handle it because I would have friends to help me whenever I needed it. I thanked by dad with a nod and was about to catch up to Rosetta when he stopped me with his claws. Instantly, a small blue flame combusted at the tip of his nail [which was awesome] and he proceeded to lower it to my heart. He informed me this was necessary so I would be prepared for the challenges I would be facing in the future; I was skeptical because I didn't know what to expect.

However, I trusted the dragon enough to believe that whatever he was about to do was for the best, albeit our encounter was small. When he placed his flame-enveloped nail on my chest, I was expecting a burning sensation but instead, the flame felt cold, like a bag of ice pressing against a wound. The blue aura spread across my body before enveloping my left claw. The flame was blazing furiously until the fire began to change colors. The flame was now emerald green, similar to mine. The fire died down before extinguishing in my palm. The experience was a strange one because, while not painful, it made my body feel out of place; it felt as if something within me awoke and was trying to synchronize with me. I asked my father what just happened but he assured me that I would get answers in time, and I was to remain patient and to trust in the change of events that would inevitably befall me.

Great_, another "calculated plan set up by Celestia" quest,_ I thought in mild annoyance. _With the exception of it being my dad and he's a dragon._

With the event aside, I examined my left claw to see if any changes had occurred. To my bewilderment, there was a rugged scar from my claw to my wrist, which moved in spiral manner. In addition, it radiated a neon green light and no pain came. I wanted to question my parents as to what this mark meant; in fact, I wanted to ask more questions regarding my parents, this future catastrophe, what role I play – overall, I wanted to know more about _me._ Here I was, before the two who conceived me and now I have to go back to the mortal world.

This was unfair and not awesome in any way.

Nonetheless, I decided to give my dad and Seraphim the benefit of the doubt since they knew what was going on and wanted me to find out the old fashion way [now I know how Twilight felt when she went on these quests]. With no time to waste, I made my way to Rosetta who was nearing completion of the ritual. From horn to tail, her body radiated with untold power. With every second passing, her power only intensified to the point I had to shield my eyes because she was like a blazing light bulb. I was able to catch a small glimpse and saw her aim her horn directly at me. She had reached full power.

_This is it!_ I anxiously waited for her spell to strike me and send me on my way. Before it did, I heard my dad call my name. I spun my head just in time to see a proud smile form across his face with my mother clasping onto his arms.

"Formulate your own path, regardless of the obstacles you face," he advised. "Think not of anyone's opinion but your own and do not forget who you are."

"Take care, my hatchling," my mom added. "Never forget your mama and oetes loves – always have, always will."

I didn't have time to respond as Rosetta's beam struck me in the center of the chest. I could feel the core of my being become weightless and my senses beginning to fade whilst my mind grew dark, as if falling asleep. Before my conscious grew weary and my sight heavy, I could see my parents bid me adieu as they waved their claws in the air.

How I wished I could have done the same thing.

_Horse apples,"_ I think disdainfully.


	3. Chapter 3

The scent of sterilization chemicals races through my nostrils, stirring me somewhat into consciousness. In an instant, pain flows through my body like no other. My limbs cringe whenever I move and my innards feel as though they will explode any minute. My head is pounding as though I was having a migraine; it was irritating and miserable to be in such a state, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. Ceasing my struggles, I tried to remain calm before opening my eyes [which, itself, was a pain]. At first, my sight was hazy, but it soon became clear as I saw a white ceiling over me. A thought then came to my mind:

_Am…I alive?_

I turn my head, stunned to see another body lying inches away from me. A chill crawls up my spine as I turn in the opposite direction to see more corpses lined up, all supported by tables with white bed sheets underneath them and blankets covering their decaying bodies. I was about to scream until I clasped my hand over my mouth; it was then that I realized that both my arms were functioning and so was my previously damaged eye. In addition, the scars that once ravaged my body were gone.

_Yeah, I'm alive._

Suppressing the urge to cheer, I left my "bed" to inspect the room more thoroughly, despite the pain in my head and stomach. There was nothing but dead bodies present, [excluding me], the temperature was between 2˚C and 4˚C, no cameras, and the door sealed from the inside.

"But of all the places to be resurrected in, why in a morgue," I ask the readers before colliding into a cadaver's table. I hiss underneath my breath and whisper, "Seriously, writer, where do you get your materials from?"

Despite my current predicament, I couldn't ignore the emotional build-up forming inside me. Possibly guilt for getting myself killed in order to save the girls. The information my parents left me before my return – the actions of what the girls did upon my death made me realize my foolishness. Though I wanted to save them, it seems that my intent had some negative aspects as well. My body being placed among the deceased is probably one of many repercussions I've caused. I placed my body against the side of the room, thinking on my next move. On one side, I stay inside this room and let the chill put me back to sleep or I escape, find the girls, and see what happens from there. After much consideration, I came to a decision:

"Hang on, girls," I whisper. "I'm coming."

I knew it was a foolish choice – hay, it'd be short of a miracle if they would want me around. Nonetheless, even if it means banishment from Canterlot, I have to see them one final time. They deserved that much.

Escaping the morgue was easier than I realized. After picking the lock with one of my claws and placing one of the blankets over my body, I tip-toed my way into the hallway and leapt into the nearest laundry cart; the smell was putrid, but I remained patient until somepony came by and began moving the cart to a different location. As the worker carried on with his work, I took the time to listen in on anything important. The gossip was not worthwhile, but I was able to get an idea as to what hospital I was at, based on what the secretaries would say before answering the phone: Canterlot Sanatorium. The thought of being here brought back memories of whenever Twilight and Armor got ill and they had to get a check-up. It was also one of many times Twilight and I began to bond with one another.

_Now's not the time to get distracted,_ I scold myself.

The cart came to a stop and the employee began placing the dirty clothes through the laundry shoot, unaware of the deceased reptile (i.e. me) being added to the mix. After a minute of free falling through a dark tunnel with the clothes and my screams as company, I landed in another laundry cart full of additional clothes. It took me a moment to regain my senses before I heard hoof steps approach the cart. The employees were debating on a topic I had little interest in before loading me into a transportation wagon. Hours must have passed before the smell of funky towels and dirty sheets started to irritate me; during this small odyssey, my "cart" has been stopped, redirected, moved across smooth roads and bumpy ones, going up and down; I have been put on different transporters before coming to a halt and relocated someplace else. During the process, my irritation grew and I was considering the possibility of Deus ex Machina or some of these ponies lack the skills to do their job. Upon my final stop, I had enough of the randomness and escaped from my hiding place. When I did, my mouth falls open at how lucky my position was. Though it was an educated guess, I had to assume a mishap transpired earlier, in which, the laundry pile was mistaken for somepony else's clothing, which then was mistaken for somepony else's; from there, the collection was substituted as some snob's accessory before discarding it upon realization that the heap did not belong to him or her. After a long, elaborate and unexplained sense of misdirection, I would whine up here: the storage compartment of a train heading to Ponyville. I did everything I could to tell myself this was a dream: pinching, slapping, punching something hard, and biting my arm. None of which seemed to work.

"I'm heading home…" I whisper, unable to believe my own statement. "I'm actually heading home…"

At this point, the tears couldn't stop, even if I wanted them to. I was happy, beyond recognition and had every reason to be. Everypony I have known – we have all suffered much, most of them because of my actions. At first, I believed there was no going back on my choice and everypony would have to live with it for the rest of their life. Now there is a chance for repentance of my mistake, and, if possible, reconciliation between my friends and I; regardless of the outcome, though, I was still happy to meet them again. As long as they had fully recovered from their _ordeal_ – that would be a difficult topic to discuss. However, I feel that it's possible to fix that problem…I think.

Overall, I was going back home.

Upon reaching checkpoint, the station was deserted and it was approaching midnight. Taking advantage of the situation, I made my way out of the train, while avoiding any conductors running about, or leaving passengers [don't ask me how, just trust me]. Once I was out of the train station, (with my blanket covering my body) I made my way back to the tree house, hoping Twilight and maybe even, the girls, would be there as well. Running as fast as my small legs would let me, all the while suffering an extreme case of culture shock upon my return, I reached my destination to see…nothing?

The tree house, which took so long to repair, the sentential representation to all the times me and Twilight spent with one another, as well as the beginning of our friendship with those we met in Ponyville – it was destroyed, again. Scanning across the destroyed house, I saw that everything is either amiss or destroyed: books burnt and scattered, inkbottles broken, and scrolls in shredded pieces, and black as charcoal. The root of the tree looked as if it was ripped from the ground and ash littered around the site.

_Twilight…_

It had to have been her who caused this. If her mind is truly unstable as my folks said it was, she would surely have done this. I still can't believe that she would.

I searched every nook-n-cranny of the place, believing I would find evidence of where she was. I looked until Luna's stars were out of bed, but no luck befell me. Giving up, I went to the Friendship Castle, hoping Twilight was there. Within seconds, I am standing at the castle's entrance. The crystalline tree sprouted into the sky with the Friendship Princess' emblem sported on the flag, and castle apex. The main color matching Twilight's fur covered the majority of the castle wall with additional dye affixed onto the first layer of paint. It felt bizarre, being back here – as though I was coming back from a pilgrimage. Thoughts of unseen events flourished in my psyche as my claws made their journey to the doorknob. It was unlocked, something Twilight never allows; I began to fret. Slowly and quietly, I enter the castle and creep through the halls in an attempt to trying to find Twilight. Entering the sanctum of the castle, I looked up to see a chandelier hanging above the friendship table. Hanging from its edges were gems housing memorial events of my and Twilight's time in Ponyville, ranging from the adventurous days we had with our friends, to the life-changing experiences we had traveling across Equestria. In addition, some of the gems carried pictures of Twilight and I during our stay in Canterlot: her failed attempt to bake a cake, which I later ate, reading the first book she gave me, and the day Celestia sent me to live with her. What left me in awe, though, was that the corona of memories is the tree root from the library Twi and I lived in prior to its [second] destruction. I couldn't help but smile at the sentimental vibe the accessory generated.

I continued to browse the castle more thoroughly until it dawned on me that everything was unbalanced; it was hard to describe but the building felt hollow as though the magic that once made this place lively had weakened severely. Perhaps it was because of me that the flow of magic was gone. When my sightseeing ended, I made my way to Twilight's room. Picking the lock, I creep into the room and almost swear in Celestia's name. Books are scattered across the floor and maps with star alignments are shredded; glass shards were in the trashcan and pencils are in the ceilings. Though I understood Twilight's OCD-like tendencies, to see everything in such a state made me shudder. My attention then turned to the alicorn who was lying across her bed, asleep but with a troubled expression. _Princess of Friendship, Symbol of Magic,_ and _Hero of Equestria_ – all these titles and more is what come to mind for the average individual whenever Twilight Sparkle becomes a topic. For me, she goes by different titles: teacher, sister, mother, guardian, friend and more. However, the figure before me seems like a shell of the original due to her appearance and the somber aura radiating from her, even while unconscious. Closer examination reveals her mane is shorten with strings standing out; bags, though light, could be seen underneath her eyes along with tear marks pressed against her cheeks. Her arms bandaged from fetlock to knee and it looked as if she wasn't eating. To make things more uncomfortable was the breathing mask she was wearing. The sound of the machine pumping clean air into her body at a rhythmic pattern did not help calm my nerves – if anything, the sight of her condition made me queasy.

I examine Twilight's bed to see an item lying by her chest. Closer examination reveals that is none other than the second gift I made for her in honor of our friendship – the last present given to her before my death. The necklace possessed a star-shaped tanzanite gemstone, fully-grown and claw-crafted to near perfection. I almost couldn't believe she would hold on to it, let alone keep it. Wanting to get a closer look at my creation my eyes catch sight of a small parchment on her desk. A wrinkle-up slip laced with dried tears and tares, though the legibility was still readable. Without waking up Twilight, I move to her desk to take the slip before retreating behind the doorway to read in silence. Reading the parchment broke my heart as anger, guilt, and shame crept inside me as I place my claw over my face, letting the letter fall onto the floor.

"I'm sorry, Twilight…" I mumble.

The letter is a cheap apology, not even a good enough plea. Everything written on the piece was nothing more but a slap in the girls' faces. Originally, the paper was meant to be a 'thank you' letter for everything they had done for me, but upon the discovery of the girls' action, this letter sounds more like a suicide note:

_Girls –_

_ I don't know how to say this so I'll just write out whatever I can to express how much you all mean to me. As I sit her, reminiscing on how much has transpired in my life – I can't help but feel happy having known everyone of you; I would never have guessed in my wildest dreams that a drake like me would have the opportunity to live a life as wonderful as this. Each one of you has made an impact on my way of living, and for that, I am grateful. You have taught me how to be kind, loyal, and honest to my friends; the effectiveness of laughter and generosity, as well as how powerful friendship can be. Most importantly, your actions, no matter how small, have given my existence some value. Previously, I had no understanding as to why I existed. I was an outcast, a speck immersed in a sea of uncaring ponies and apathetic feudal lords. At one point, I didn't know why I existed. Those dark feelings passed upon my contact with you girls – I can never thank you enough for what you all have done for me. [You] gave me the chance to learn, grow, and live; you all have given me the chance to experience life and the happiness that comes with it. I wish to return the favor for all you've done for me. I wish I could have stayed a little longer and enjoy the joyous bounties of this world, but sometimes things do not always go as planned. Though it pains me to do this, I fear this will be the last time either you or anypony else will hear of me. Where I go I do not know, but one thing is certain: all the memories of our times spent will not fade away. All of our adventures and experience formed- I will forever cherish and never abandon. I'm glad to have met each and every one of you and hope to see you again in the future. Before we part ways, I leave behind a gift you six have given me: life. Use it responsibly, appreciate its glory, and live your days devoid of fear or pain. Love always, your friend._

– _Spike D. __Sparkle_

"I screwed up big…"

Having looked over my previous letter, my body just shut off. I couldn't think or act – it felt pointless. I stared into open space, unable to formulate a plan. What bothered me the most was that my attempt to do something good backfired; I only caused more harm than I originally planned. To make matters worse, the repercussions were almost unfixable, if it wasn't already impossible to do. I wanted to wallow in self-pity but I knew there was no time for that. Jumping to my feet, I traveled back into my room to fetch an ink quill, some ink and parchments, and made my way back to the friendship table. Using the moment to think, I scribbled out a list of what I learned from the girls, of my experience while on the other side, my thoughts on specific topics and other important ideas. I had to make a couple of corrections but in the end, my work was complete. I went over the letter again, checking for incorrect grammar or wordiness. I wanted to add more to this page and make it more presentable but this was the best way I could express my feelings via writing. Making sure everything is written to the best of my ability I lifted myself up from my seats, looked over my "apology letter" and read over it as quiet as possible:

"_Girls –_

_ No words can describe how much I've learned during my stay on this planet. Despite my stature as a third wheel, I have obtained a sense of understanding I feel no one else has ever accomplished. The endeavor of my youth has revealed to me one of life's precious gifts – a philosophical idea you six have learned and passed on to me. That concept is friendship. As childish as it may sound my experiences, though small, demonstrate how effective and powerful the magic of friendship can have on an individual and group. Similar to a spark, it starts out small and insufficient, unable to warm the flesh. However, the passage of time allows the spark to grow in size and shape, so long as it is supplied with the necessary ingredients: honesty, kindness, laughter, generosity, loyalty, and friendship. The heat produced from said flame warms the body and those around it, causing the energy to rage toward those who are cold and in search of warmth. That is the best way to describe this omnipresent resonance; a powerful force that encourages dames and sires to perform tasks they would not ordinarily do and come together under a singular idea. It brings out the best of a creature and inspires them to better themselves and assist those who are lost. You six, whom I have come to cherish, taught me how glorious the magic of friendship can be; I can look past my wants (at times) and help those who are in need, and is willing to stand by those who are in trouble. I learned how to be honest to my friends and kind to those who are down; I even know how to use my sarcasm as a means of entertainment. In the past, I felt isolated and devoid of meaning but was saved by your love. I yearned to return the feeling and find a way to save. I yearned to return the feeling and find a way to save you all like you did for me. My task was asinine and life threatening – I came close to turning back home and was even threatened with damnation. Instead, I made the choice to continue onward and throw my life down for your sakes._

_During my stay on the other side, I was given a second chance to return to this world, after hearing of what had transpired while I was gone. The point I'm getting at is that I'm sorry for causing you all more harm than previously intended. I don't expect any of you to forgive me for putting you through so much pain and I accept that. Should you desire it, I will leave this kingdom and country and we'll never see each other again. Any curses you spew on me I accept wholeheartedly and any strikes you place on me I acknowledge. However, before we go our separate ways I want you all to understand one thing: I love you all with every fiber of my body and will never forget any of you. As stated before, you all have made my life meaningful and can never thank you enough. Best of luck in your future endeavors and do not lose faith in the power of friendship._

_Spike D. __Sparkle__."_

Staring at this piece of paper made me realize that this might be the last time I ever see the girls, let alone every other pony I have come to know. Nonetheless, it was all I could do for them, if they wanted closure. I would humble myself before them and ask for their forgiveness. If they accepted, then I would be their faithful servant; if not, then we would go our separate ways. Before I could make another move, I hear hoof steps of somepony approach me. Stupidly, I turn around to face the intruder, only to see Twilight staring at me with her mouth hung open and her eyes as wide as dinner plates.

Neither one of us make a response. Minutes pass by and the pregnant silence still has a hold over us. I try to make a move but I can barely form a sentence, whilst Twilight stays where she is, petrified like a frozen block of ice. The staring contest continues until finally Twilight makes the first move:

"Spike…" her voice sounds cracked. Shaking off my fear but unable to meet Twilight's gaze, I forced myself to respond:

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

Despite my best effort my voice sounds cheap, childish, and cowardly – it was as though I was begging for mercy. My eyes stare at the floor but I make the effort to walk toward her, but slow enough not to frighten her. When I am close enough to see her shadow I slowly move my head up to see her bearing the same shocked expression. Holding the parchment before her I try to say my peace but found difficulties doing so.

"Tw-Twilight…" I mumble underneath my breath. "I want to say I'm sorry for hurting you and the girls. I-it was not my intent to do any of you harm."

She said nothing but held on to that bewildered expression. I didn't know if she was listening but I continued to speak.

"I can never atone for the pain I put on you and the girls but I want you to take this…my last friendship report."

No response – I suppose this was my punishment.

"I have done wrong by you and the girls and am no longer worthy to be deemed your friend or assistant –"

I pause as Twilight's hoof touches my cheek. It was not a violent strike – more of a confirmation touch. I could feel her hoof tremble in disbelief and I look up to see tears scaling down the dark circles that had formed underneath her bloodshot eyes. Seeing her so broken weakened my strength as I placed my free claw on her cheeks to confirm to her I was alive – a gasp escapes her muzzle before she begins hyperventilating. I try to calm her somewhat shot psyche by shushing her like a mother to its filly, which begins to take effect.

"I-is is really you," Twilight stammers, too stunned to speak any more. "A-are you really there, or is this a figment of my imagination?"

At this point, tears trickle down the side of my face, regret and happiness overtaking my senses. So many words I wanted to say, to heal and help her, if not, repose her soul. As a substitute, I nod my head and smile delightfully at my mother, sister, and friend.

"I'm so sorry, Twilight," I say sympathetically.

Her reaction was…not what I was completely expecting.

Just like Pinkie Pie, Twilight tackled me onto the floor in a tight embrace, her wails echoing within the castle heard only be me. Tears, both hers and mine, fall to the floor as we hold one another, afraid that we might separate from each other, and happy to feel the other's touch. At that moment, the hardship of the past was replaced with renewed hope. Silent apologies were asked and accepted between us with nuzzles and small kisses, and though the scars would not fade, I was confident that our friendship would last and grow stronger than ever. When the tears died down and I was certain that my princess [shout out for the shippers] was asleep and at peace, a realization came over me as I carried her back to her room to sleep.

_I truly am a blessed drake_. I thought sincerely. _I could have ended up with nothing but Fate saw it fit to bless me with much. I could have ended up as bad as Sombra but I have friends who were there for me when I needed them. Their strength and love empowered me to face my dark obstacles and overcome them. I was willing to throw my life away for their sakes and am rewarded for my dedication._

"I give thanks to the Fates," I whisper as I shut the door behind Twi and I. "This life of mine is truly a bountiful existence."


End file.
